Tagged

Well, I wasn't really tagged, I just wandered to D-Place, liked what I read, and decided to post my responses here. I just love these lists:

If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

Hope that I wasn't on my period.

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?

Same problem teenagers have always had: the issue of trying to fit in.

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?

When my mother discovered my stash of hard core porno magazines when I was a teenager.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?

Halle Berry - pretty as a button, but couldn't act her way out of a brown paper bag.
And the Oscar for "The Prettiest Woman Trying to Act Like She Enjoyed Getting Boned by Ugliest Bag of Bones in Hollywood" goes to...

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?

Arrogance

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?

You've have plenty of ribs left, tell the Old Man that you need another baby's momma!

If you were to name the best “I told you so” you ever got to deliver, what was it?

"That stuff will f*ck you up" - telling a friend to leave crack alone back in 1986.
He didn't listen.

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?

Die.

If you could have a lifetime 50 percent discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?

The Gap - I can't keep my wife out of that damn place.

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?

I have such fond memories of growing up with my Labrador Retriever named Ace.

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?

Do an in-studio interview on Larry King Live.

If you could spend New Year's Eve doing anything you want, what would you do and who would you do it with?

Go to Times Square in New York City with my wife and watch the big ball drop.

If you were to set your country’s immigration policy, what would it be?

Build a big ass fence along the border, then round up every illegal alien and send them south of the border, and then grant them access to this country through legal means.

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?

There is no issue to settle: if you want to get your ass shot off in defense of this country, have at it! I don't want to do it, so I sure as Hell ain't going to deny the opportunity to someone who does, regardless of their sexual orientation.

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?

My fraternity brother who pledged with me back in 1982 and I haven't seen him in over 20 years (Yo! Clark, wassup?).

If you could change one thing about your love life what would it be?

Just more of the same.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?

I only say the Bible because some people think it was written by God, when in fact it was edited by people.

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?

The best music album ever recorded was "I Never Loved A Man The Way That I Love You," by Aretha Franklin.

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?

My next paycheck, then maybe I wouldn't spend it as fast.

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?"

I never asked for 10 percent.